Humor Page: pun

This weekend while shopping in a local toy store, I came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As I scanned the line, I noticed a friend waiting with all the others. I knew my friend had no daughters or young relatives, so I figured he must like the dolls himself.

"Bill," I said going up to him, "I didn't know you were a collector!"

"I'm not," he replied.

"Oh," I said, "You're buying a gift, then."

"No, not at all," my friend responded.

"If you don't mind my asking then Bill," I said, "Why are you standing in this line?"

"Oh that," he answered. "It's like this," my friend stated, ... "I've never been able to resist a 'barbie queue'!"

Travelling Puns

• If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack, don't yell out "Hi Jack!"
• Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's just plane food.
• Every so often, railroad conductors have to go for retraining.
• A railroad engineer can't lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
• If two people invest in a boat, it's a partner-ship.
• Sailors like to seas opportunities.
• A sailor has ties to home but is knot there often.
• Those who work on reducing auto emissions go home exhausted.
• If you ride a bus, you have to pay your fare share.

A famous university professor has finally perfected the art of cloning and to unveil his most prestigious work he has taken cells from his own body and created a perfect clone of himself.

He calls a press conference. All the top scientist and scientific journalist attend. He describes the extent of his work and at the proper moment he introduces his clone from behind the curtain. The crowd is astonished. He is the mirror image of the professor. He's even dressed the same. The clone comes forward to the podium and the professor allows him to speak for a few minutes. But, quickly the clone becomes abusive and starts spewing obscenities one right after the other. The professor is terribly embarrassed and tries to intervene. But, a fight breaks out between the two which quickly moves off the stand and into the crowd.

The professor starts to get the upper-hand on his clone and in one last knock out punch he sends the clone flying back against the window which breaks. The clone falls ten stories to his death.

The audience is dumbstruck. The police rush in and promptly arrest the professor ...

The charges: Making an obscene clone fall.

Ever See a Cat Fish?

Ever see a toilet bowl?

Ever see the Kitchen Sink?

Ever see a cigar box?

Ever see a Rubber Band?

Ever see a car wash?

Ever heard a door jam?

Ever see a paper mate?

Ever see a house fly?

Ever see a dragon fly?

Ever see a chain saw?

Ever see a mountain slide?

Ever see an orange punch?

Ever see a book stand?

Ever see a floppy drive?