Top 5 reasons being ...

Top 5 reasons being AMERICAN

1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can be a crook and still be president
3. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
4. If you can breathe you can get a gun or sue God
5. You can still think you're the greatest nation on earth.

Top 5 reasons being CANADIAN

1. It beats being an American
2. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
3. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise
4. Own-an-Eskimo scheme
5. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

Top 5 reasons being ENGLISH

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah
2. Warm beer
3. Union jack underpants
4. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
5. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

Top 5 reasons being IRISH

1. Guinness
2. Love for green color
3. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
4. Kill people you don't agree with
5. More Guinness

Top 5 reasons being FRENCH

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
3. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
4. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
5. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

Top 5 reasons being GERMAN

1. Allied countries are boring
2. Privilege to drive a pleasure car for long trip to other country, a tank
3. Nazi is as cool as KKK and SkinHead
4. Can shave your mustache any way you like
5. All you can drink beer and drive BMW, Mercedes and Porsche

Top 5 reasons being ITALIAN

1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. No need to worry about tax returns
3. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
4. Political stability and country run by Sicilian murderers
5. Live near the Pope.

Top 5 reasons being SPANISH

1. Christopher Columbus was Spanish before the discovery of America
2. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc and the rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
3. Only sure way of attracting a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
4. Gibraltar
5. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

Top 5 reasons being RUSSIAN

1. Vodka
2. Love for red color
3. More nuclear warheads than human heads
4. Have more land than any other country and thus more places for hiding
5. Much more Vodka.

Top 5 reasons being INDIAN

1. Know authentic curry chicken receipt
2. Make and wear your own clothes any way your like and nobody will laugh at you
3. Associated with many world hunger organizations
4. Never get Mad Cow disease
5. The poorest country having nuclear power

Top 5 reasons being AUSTRALIAN

1. Outback
2. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket
3. Like to wear tuxedo and tall hat to referee a football game
4. Bondi Beach
5. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

Top 5 reasons being CHINESE

1. There are so many of them
2. You can eat your pets or choose among snakes, guts or monkey brains
3. Spittoon is cool; picking your nose any where or time you want is cool too
4. Mahjong
5. People think you know Kung Fu even when you do not.

Top 5 reasons being JAPANESE

1. A great place for fish and Karate chop
2. Have the fastest trains to take you the smallest distances
3. Know how to clone stuffs better and dump them fast and cheap
4. All other Asians get mistaken for you
5. Only country successfully invaded Hawaii twice: first time with warplanes, next with money.

Top 5 reasons being KOREAN

1. Taekwondo
2. Love being called Kim
3. After a big bowl of Kimchee, a street full of teargas is nothing
4. Love for M*A*S*H
5. The only country that cares enough to be your enemy is feeding bark to its troops.